More...more...more Erap Jokes

Jaric:  How is your Y2K conversion going?
Erap:  It's crazy! I cant imagine going to work from Mondak to Fridak and spend saturdak and sundak with the kids. Why do they have to convert Y to K anyway?

Erap to Loi: Wow ang bango mo ngayon ah! Ano'ng gamit mong pabango?
Loi: Secret!!!

Erap's Friend : offering the president a box of VIAGRA.
Erap : Di ko kailangan yan, merong mas effective dyan.
Friend : Ano yun Sir?
Erap : MAALOX, tingnan mo ang sabi sa label, ANTIGAS, O di ba!

Erap while translating a speech.
"We must strive" Kailangan nating magsikap.
"We must help others" Kailangan nating magtulungan.
"In union there is strength" SA SIBUYAS ME TIGAS !!!

While in New York city, a Erap bumped a black-american.
B-A : Hey, watch where you're goin' you "MUDAFUCKA".
Erap : Eh ta-tanga tanga ka pala, "MADAFA KA RIN SANA"!!

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Erap are walking down the street
when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy
and Erap thought it was a gum wrapper.

Q: What happens when Erap gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!

Q: What do you get when you offer Erap a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How did Erap try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.

Q: How does Erap kill a fish?
A: He drowns it.

Q: How do you amuse Erap for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why does help always arrive late whenever Erap suffers heart attack?
A: He looks for number "11" when he dials "911".

How are a San Miguel beer bottle and Erap alike?
They are both empty from the neck up.

Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They are for those who don't drink!

 

What dress?

JINGGOY: Dad, ano nga palang tawag sa damit pangbuntis? Fraternity dress?
ERAP:Tangga, panlalake yon. Sorrority Dress dapat.

Apollo13

JINGGOY: Dad, nood tayo ng Apollo 13.
ERAP:Ikaw na lang hindi ko pa napanood ang Apollo part 1-12. Hindi ko lang yan maiintindihan.

VHS

ERAP: Soli ko nabili kong VHS tape.
CLERK: Sir, anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture saka sound. Sayang suspense thriller pa yata.
CLERK: Sir, Ano po yung title?
ERAP: Head Cleaner.

President Erap looks up from his desk in Malacanang to see one of his
aides nervously approach him.

"What is it?" exclaims the President.

"Its this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do about it?" the
aide replies.

"Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President.

A newspaper did a survey:

100 women surveyed were asked, "Would you sleep with president Erap"?

81 replied, "Never Again".

One day Erap is going to give a speech at an Elementary School. He asks
the teacher what the children are studying and she replies that they are
learning about Tragedies. So the President decides to talk about
Tragedies.

He asks a student, "What would you consider to be a tragedy?"

The kid thinks for awhile and then says, " If a boy is running after a ball into
a street and gets run over by a car and dies."

Erap responds, "No, I don't think that's a tragedy... that's an accident."

Then Erap asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy. The kid says,
"If a bus full of kids drives over a cliff and they all die."

This time Erap says, "I don't think that's a tragedy... I think that's a great
loss."

So again Erap asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy. The kid
responds, "If you're on a air plane and it crashes."

"Right!" says the president to the kid. "That would be a tragedy... how did
you ever know that?"

Quickly, the kid replies, " Because I know it's not an accident and I know it's
not a great loss."